Commit to the relationship. It’s very hard to work on a relationship when either of you has one foot out the door. If you have the attitude of, “If this or that doesn’t work, I can’t be here,” it’s almost certain that your relationship will fail. To get back together and stay together you two must commit to the relationship and to each other deeply. You both must commit to try and try again to make your relationship work. Instead of taking the attitude of defining conditions that would make you leave the relationship, decide that you are in fact going to get what you want in your relationship. The question to ask is not if you are going to get what you want, but when, and how you are going to get more of what you want so that both of you are happy. Figure out what went wrong in your relationship or marriage. To save your relationships or marriage, both of you must honestly look at what you did to get your relationship to its current state. All defensiveness must be set aside, all excuses thrown out the window, so you can honestly see what happened. It does your relationship absolutely no good to point fingers at each other. And it is a disservice to your relationship if only one of you is willing to own the blame or responsibility for what happened. Both of you must come to the table equally willing to own everything you have contributed to the current state of your relationship.